I cant do this. This use to be my sanctuary, a place where I loved to be.... But now it's like a hell hole that I want nothing to do with. I wish I had never moved to El Dorado or switched schools. I would rather deal with druggies and ass holes than stay here and deal with all this pain... All I can do is cry. I gave him everything that ever meant any thing to me and now he's just gone. He doesn't even care how much he hurt me. If he thinks that he was the only one hurting then he is blind. I was still hurting from the last two times he has done this. Except they weren't this bad. I wasn't torn to shreds because I knew he still loves me... Now he doesn't.... He doesn't even care any more. I'm just another face in the hall way that just gets in the way. I guess I should of known this was going to happen. I should have known that he could never love me and keep all the promises he swore.... But I did and now I feel dead inside. I hurt all over and couldn't even sleep last night.... I just don't know what to do with myself. I can't eat, can't sleep, and I can't stop thinking. There's nothing that can take my mind off of him. Mal can't even help. He tries so hard to make me smile or laugh but it's pointless. When a persons best friend can't even make them happy, you know that they're hurt. All I could do was curl against him and cry last night. Crying is still just about all I can. I feel so useless and worthless.... I wish I wasn't here any more....

Breathe You In by Thousand Foot Krutch

Taking hold, breaking in
The pressures on, need to circulate
Mesmerized and taken in
Moving slow, so it reasonates
It's time to rest, not to sleep away
My thoughts alone, try to complicate
I'll do my best, to seek you out
And be myself, not impersonate


Tried so hard to not walk away
And when things don't go my way
I'll still carry on and on just the same

I've always been strong
But can't make this happen
'Cause I need to breathe, I want to breathe you in
The fear of becoming
I'm so tired of running
And I need to breathe, I want to breathe you in
I want to breathe you in

I'm going in, so cover me
Your compass will, help me turn the page
The laughing stock I'll never be
Because I won't let them take me

Took awhile to see all the love that's around me
Through the highs and lows there's a truth that I've known
And it's You